The Ten Greatest TV Dads Ever

10. ANDY GRIFFITH - MAYBERRY, NC    

SHERIFF/DAD/WIDOWER  
1960-1968             Children: Opie
STRENGTHS:  compassion, guidance, respect
WEAKNESSES: easily flustered

The Andy Griffith Show has been one of my personal living hells as a Dad for several reasons.   Each and every time I think of that big smile, whistle that theme song, or skip a rock off the water's surface - none of which I do with much frequency here in Los Angeles but when I do or when I have another bout of soul-crushing guilt over how I'm raising my two sons (which is a lot more often than skipping stones or whistling) I think back to Andy Griffith and the relative ease he had in raising Opie AND I then curse him under my breath as I wonder, "How did he do it?"

           

Single father in the backwoods of North Carolina raising his son Opie with only a dimwit deput and a nagging Aunt Bee to help him with an occassional helping hand from an assortment of other Goobers - Goober himself not withstanding.  But when you really take a look, you see that Andy wasn't so amazing after all.

I have several theories about Andy's success as a parent:

1. ONLY SHERIFF IN TOWN

Andy was a single dad which was a smart move by the show's producers.   We sympathized with the good-natured widower and never had to see when he was being a jerk as a husband.  It was Andy's ship to run and he had no interference.  Granted, he had some Deputies, Barney Fife, Aunt Bee but try as they may there was never any real challenge for the top 

 2.  THERE ARE NO ALPHA MALES NAMED GOOBER     

When a klutzy deputy and goofy mechanic are your only competition for King of the Hill - you've got some good days ahead of you.  I live in Beverly Hills - there are Alpha males all around me.  One day I Gene Simmons of KISS, in his champagne colored Bentley, pulled up alongside my dirty min-van at a red light.   My five-year old son looked at Gene Simmons, looked at me and then turned his attention back to the God of Thunder.  Who did Andy have to compete with.... Gomer....Barney Fife?   Come on, it's not even close.  He didn't breathe fire, spit blood or have scrapbooks of all the groupies he had sex with but based on the other men in the show, Andy was Mayberry's version of Brad Pitt & Jay-Z all rolled in one.

3.  UNEVEN PLAYING FIELD
Come on, let's be real:  One kid is window dressing.  People don't start families with one kid - they create Christmas cards.  I could do one kid in my sleep.  Hell, we didn't even have to see Andy in the toddler years -  Opie was five or six when the show started - those are semi-autonomous years.  Throw in six hours a day at the local school, Aunt Bee picking up the slack and Barney stepping in as a surrogate crazy uncle and all I see left is loads of free time sprinkled in with an occasional fishing trip.  And while we're at it, you know Andy wasn't doing the fishing trips weekly - that was a start of the show - "Look at what a good dad he is!" - kind of moment.

However, when you look at his record:  eight strong years, went on to numerous other TV shows, Opie grew up reasonably stable, respected his father and went on to be one of the most heralded directors in Hollywood history - not to mention the lead (if only till the Fonz took over) of his own TV show. Throw in Gomer Pyle USMC, Don Knotts' career and the longetivity of the show and Andy's place on the list is well deserved.

TOMORROW:    "Battlin'" Mike Brady 


Alan Aymie is an award-winning writer/peformer who currently lives with his wife and children in Beverly Hills, CA.  His current play, A CHILD LEFT BEHIND can be seen in May '14, at the Santa Monica Playhouse.